Every child deserves to feel safe at school, at home, online and in their community. Yet for many children, bullying can make everyday experiences feel stressful, isolating or frightening.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, making it an important time for parents, caregivers, educators and community members to talk about bullying and what we can do to help prevent it.
Creating safer environments for children starts with paying attention, listening and making sure children know they have adults they can trust.
What Is Bullying?
Bullying is more than an occasional disagreement between children. It generally involves aggressive or unwanted behavior that is repeated or has the potential to be repeated and involves an imbalance of power.
Bullying can take many forms, including:
- Physical bullying such as hitting, pushing or damaging someone’s belongings
- Verbal bullying such as name-calling, threats or hurtful comments
- Social bullying such as intentionally excluding someone or spreading rumors
- Cyberbullying through texts, social media, gaming platforms or other online spaces
Children may experience more than one type of bullying at the same time.
Know the Signs
Children do not always tell adults when they are being bullied. Some may feel embarrassed or worried that speaking up will make things worse.
Others may not have the words to explain what is happening.
Adults can watch for changes such as:
- Suddenly avoiding school or activities
- Changes in mood or behavior
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in eating habits
- Lost or damaged belongings
- Withdrawal from friends or family
- Declining school performance
- Increased anxiety or fear about certain places or people
One sign does not necessarily mean a child is being bullied. However, noticeable changes are a good reason to check in.
Start With Listening
If a child tells you they are being bullied, one of the most helpful things you can do is listen.
Try to remain calm and give the child your full attention. Thank them for telling you and let them know that they did the right thing by coming to you.
Avoid blaming the child or immediately demanding that they confront the other child. Instead, ask open-ended questions to understand what happened and how they are feeling.
Sometimes children need an adult to listen before they are ready to talk about what they need next.
Help Children Build Healthy Connections
Strong relationships can help children feel supported and connected.
Encourage children to develop friendships with peers and relationships with trusted adults. Teachers, coaches, relatives, mentors and other caring adults can all play an important role in a child’s support system.
Children should know that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Teach Children How to Treat Others
Bullying prevention is not only about responding when something goes wrong. It is also about teaching children how their actions affect others.
Talk about empathy, kindness, respect and inclusion. Encourage children to notice when someone is being left out and consider how they can safely include others.
Adults should model these behaviors, too. Children learn a great deal from watching how the adults around them communicate and treat other people.
Remember Online Spaces
Bullying does not always happen face-to-face. Children can experience hurtful behavior through social media, text messages, online games and other digital platforms.
Talk with children about what they are seeing and experiencing online. Encourage them to tell a trusted adult if something makes them uncomfortable or afraid.
Depending on the situation, adults may also need to save evidence, use reporting tools or involve the school or other appropriate support.
Every Child Needs a Trusted Adult
One of the most important things adults can do is make sure children know who they can turn to when they need help.
That person may be a parent, foster parent, relative, teacher, counselor, coach, mentor or another trusted adult.
Children do not always need an adult to immediately fix everything. Sometimes they need to know someone will listen, believe them and help them take the next step.
Creating a Culture of Safety
Preventing bullying is a community effort. Schools, families, child-serving organizations and community members all have a role to play.
When adults take children’s concerns seriously, respond appropriately and create spaces where children feel respected, we help build communities where every child has an opportunity to feel safe and valued.
Let’s Make Room for Every Child
At TFI, we believe children deserve to grow up surrounded by caring adults who listen, support them and advocate for their well-being.
This October, take a moment to check in with the children in your life. Ask how they are doing. Listen to what they have to say. Remind them that they matter and that they do not have to face difficult situations alone.
A conversation today could make a meaningful difference in a child’s life.